I am curious about when others settled into adulthood- or if that even resonates with anyone? I have certainly not held it at arms length, feared it, or wanted to avoid it. It just has seemed, that up until recently, I always felt like I was just "playing" adult. My assumption is that having children forces that upon us. Or at least it should. My children have most certainly played a role in this self-image change. Maybe it is because I see and hear my mom and dad in me more often. No longer am I living within or just outside of my childhood. Instead, as I am Mom to Ella and Thomas, there seem to be more memories of being a child- and it seems much more distant than it did even a few months ago. I can't be child and Mom. I can be daughter and Mom. But not child.
It is what I thought the age of 30 would be. I wonder if it would have happened earlier- had we had children sooner?
That time between childhood and adulthood is interesting. A second puberty of sorts, that I feel I am coming to the end of. I am doing a lot of reflecting and evaluating of where I am, who I am and where I am headed. I have no insecurity or hesitation in saying that I am an adult, a woman, a lady. There does however continue to be a feeling of newness with it, as I say it and "try it on". Before I know it, I will be taking this coat of adulthood off, and trying on that of the next phase of life. Middle age- or will something come sooner? I am thankful that I can embrace these changes having no deep regrets or things left undone. God has been so faithful to me in my life journey.
5 comments:
This is interesting to me because I am right in the middle of transitioning to the "adulthood" phase. Our baby plans happened a bit sooner than we planned, so it seems like I was somewhat thrust into the "adulthood" phase a bit before I thought I would, though it seemed like it wasn't real yet...things were still coming so easily. However, after going through trials and great parts of life, it seems like I am closer to actually "arriving" or growing up in a sense. Am I making sense or just talking this out to myself? I think a little of both.
I miss our walks, I loved talking out the issues of children, marriage, career and overall life.. Thanks for an Amanda moment. Miss you.
This is a good question. I think that I, too, am having fewer and fewer moments when I think, "how long until they all realize I'm still 12?" College kids are starting to look young to me. Even though I enjoyed being a young or almost adult, I don't think I'd like to go back. That's a good feeling.
J
I know what you mean. I have days when I am like wow, I am the mom. I still feel like I am in my early 20s. I am like you though. I am not scared or afraid of getting older it is just weird to me.
I can't remember when I realized I was an adult. But, believe me, getting to this stage of life is definitely apparent!
I know exactly what you are talking about. Most days, I feel like an adult. I have been a mother for ten years to "L" and six years to "Bug" and there are still days that I have to remind myself that I am a mom. In my brain, I still feel like I did when I was 21, married with no children (and when Honey-bunch and I can get out on a date, it is so easy to ease right back into "us".). I wonder if that is what it will feel like when we are our parents age, a body that has aged with a brain that still feels as if it were younger?
Thank you for your entry. It really made me stop and think. I know everyone who reads your post will relate to your words.
Cara
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