On Marriage

Can't sleep-again- this has NOT been a good sleep week. Ugg- I hate that because I can usually sleep. Chad and I are in a bit of a funk- just not really enjoying each other- so that is probably the main reason for my problem. It always worries me when it happens- it's not fun and I just want to get through it and not worry. I know that my worry about it is good- if I did not care, then we would really be in trouble. Chad feels it too- so we will figure it out. It just feel so out of control and it is frustrating because I think "How did this happen???" It always seems to sneak up on me. If I ever feel panicky about my life, it is when I am not connecting with my husband. Maybe I have too much of my security placed in that. Maybe not- it is second only to my relationship with Christ. Chad and I have been married for almost seven years. We met in 1995. I was a freshman and he was a junior in college. The things that initially attracted me to Chad were that he got along well with people and he was funny. (He is still those things today!) We dated for three years before we got engaged. That was so good for us. We really knew each other and there have been no surprises in our marriage, which is good because we are very different people. We even did pre-engagement counseling- I know- seems crazy, but even then we had a complicated relationship. We are both thinkers and we both like to be right. When we are communicating well with one another, we make a great team-because of our differences. Chad is practical and realistic. He is calculated and makes good decisions. He is not impulsive and is very attentive to detail. I am a dreamer- an eternal optimist. I am a big picture person and tend to make decision based on how I feel. SO- when we can work together, we cover all the bases, but if we are not communicating- things get - complicated. What do we have in common? To put it simply our faith and our values. There are other things too, but our faith and life values are really what keeps us grounded. That is what we both always come back to. No matter what our conflict is about, I know that ultimately, he is basing his decisions on the same thing I am basing mine (THAT however, typically does not come quickly to my mind in the midst of the issue). I know that he is committed to me as deeply as I am to him. we can either consistently work on this marriage and be happy or be miserable in it- those are the only options. We will be married no matter what. So- we will muddle through this time- both knowing that this is how it goes. We have come through funks before and will have them in the future. But in between those times, we are so glad to be living and sharing our lives together. God, be close in this time. Protect and guard our marriage and home. Keep our hearts open and strengthen the union you blessed nearly 7 years ago. This marriage will be successful only in You. My hope alone is in You.