The responsibility of parenting a defiant child makes me stomach turn. What if we do this wrong? She is so defiant and challenges EVERYTHING. I try to remind myself that she is only barely 3, but the next thought I have is, " We only have a few years left to get this under control."
I don't understand God, and most of the time that is okay. Today, however I am angry and frustrated. Sometimes, it does not feel like enough to say, "God knows what he is doing." Sometimes, that does not offer comfort but makes the frustration and anger worse. I am distant from the circumstance that is raising these emotions. My heart aches for those who are closer to it.
I miss my people. I miss always having someone to call to come over for dinner, if we wanted to. I miss the security of knowing that each weekend, we would see friends. I miss seeing Ella play and laugh with her friends. I tried not to think about it this past weekend, but I really missed friends as we celebrated Ella's birthday. It would have been SO hard without my family here.
I am discouraged. I am sad. I am dissappointed. I am shaken.
8 comments:
I'm thinking of you today Amanda. Hope today is a better day. (((hug)))
Can you feel me hugging you? I am.
Three is the hardest.
I'm sorry you're feeling so low. Don't lose heart in the child thing. The only way they learn is if you teach them, and sometimes the teaching methods are not pleasant, but they're necessary.
The tragedies in life are hard to understand. I know so well. When it's hard to wrap my brain around the phrase "God knows what He's doing", I have to remind myself that He doesn't cause the bad, sad or tragic things that happen. That's simply life in it's painful form.
But....He does offer comfort, peace and strength to get us through these times. He walks through them with us, even when we feel angry and frustrated.
I know you didn't ask for my two cents' worth, but I just wanted you to know I care and am hoping you find some peace.
Sorry you're feeling down...hang in there! you'll be in my thoughts & prayers!
Thinking of you today. I have many days like this..even though I don't talk much about them.
Being a strong willed child myself and raising two...all I can say is 3 passes and you actually have more than a few years to teach her. But teach in love. Harshness will not work with a strong willed child. Love, choices, and patience. This kind of strength will be a good thing when she's an adult..squash it now and she will have lasting self esteem issues. Lots of positive reinforcement when she does good. Praise does an amazing job in and of itself.
I'll keep you in my prayers this week.
I know exactly why you're feeling what you're feeling - on the first two issues. We know that God knew this would happen, but that doesn't help it feel any better. But we also know that God didn't cause it - and will be with all of us through it. I can't imagine going through this without Him and His family - immediate and church. Wish you could be here with us. So very sad.
Amanda, I love you. I know that you are an amazing Mom!
Again, I am learning from you. Thank-you for sharing your feelings. You do an amazing job putting them to words. I have down days and should share with others. It helps.
I am encouraged reading everyone's comments to you! THANKS.
We are missing you too. And you are a fantastic mom. No doubt. We love you, and we love your kids. It'd be nice to have God face to face sometimes, I think. I don't understand either.
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