Parenting stuff

Ella had a rough start to school.  Having no friends was a really big stress for her.  Not knowing what to do on the playground before the bell rang in the morning, the fact that her teacher spoke Spanish, because she "knows Spanish and just wants to practice English", no one to sit with at lunch. . .those were just the things we heard about.  I know there were more things that were new and stressful for her that she didn't or couldn't express.  She would cry at night right before bed.  I would listen to her, talk with her and do my best to encourage her.  Several days, after pepping her up and sending her off, I sat in the car and thought, "Maybe I should just take her out-We are leaving in a few months anyway-Why does it have to be hard-She can go through this stuff later, when she's older." And then I would think, "This is so good for her-She is learning awesome lessons at age 7-She will have to do this again in a few months and will know better how to handle it-She is not in danger-the teacher has not called concerned-this is a NORMAL part of growing up-"

I am sure every parent reading, especially mothers, can relate to these kinds of back and forth conversations!  But as I prayed and asked for reassurance that we were doing right by Ella, God kept reminding me that He is with her, and that it is okay for her to go through these things.  He can use this to help Ella and to grow her faith.  I do not need to protect her from normal life stresses!  To experience it now, when she has parents to go home to, who can walk her through it and shower love and support on her in the midst of the struggle is what God has planned for her.  That is his plan for every child!

We talked together, I encouraged her, we prayed, read some Bible verses.  I held her at night when she cried, and kept pepping her up each morning before school.  Chad got out of the car each morning, knelt down and whispered encouragement into her ear with a big hug.  And you know what?  She figured it out.  

She made friends, she knows what to do on the playground before the bell rings in the morning, she got in trouble in class for talking to her friends instead of listening to the teacher.  She is speaking Spanish a ton in class.  She knows kids names and tells us about things they say and do.  She barely looks at us as she is running toward the school each morning when we drop her off.

That really only took about 8 days.  There were moments, when it seemed so BIG and HEAVY and when I look back now I think, what was the big deal??  She is FINE.  Even better, the next time she has a struggle with a transition or new situation, we can remind her about how God answered our prayers in THIS situation.  He cared for Ella, and gave her friends and taught her how to talk to new people.  He is using her now to encourage other kids in their Spanish.  He has given us something to build on and has done a work in her life that she will remember.  Not only does she have that to remember, but we do too.  There will be many more, bigger and harder things that we will walk through with her in coming years.

We mustn't take hard things out of our kids lives and we must remember that God can use everything for their good.  We have to TRUST Him.  He knows what He is doing.  We, as parents, have to give opportunities and show them how God was faithful through those.  Instead of praying, "God how do I rescue my child from this?"  We must pray, "God, show me how to point them to YOU in this!"  If we shelter them from every hard experience, how can we practically teach and show them that God provides, cares for and is with them?  Do we trust God to actually meet our kids in those situations, or do we feel like it is totally up to us to provide for them?  Do we trust that He cares about little kids and can be active in their lives- or do we believe that there is some magical moment when He "takes over" for Mom and Dad?  Do we trust that He can do it better than we can?  I am being reminded and convicted again at how small I make God in my mind.  If I limit what I think God can or will do, what will my children think of Him?  If I do not give Him a place to meet them in their fears, struggles, etc-- how can He speak over my voice into their lives?  I don't want to compete with God.  As hard as it is to understand or imagine, He really does love them more than I do.